she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
no, he came in my armpit
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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