CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
