We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
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he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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