Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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