Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
