Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Actions speak louder than pants.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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