Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I love you. Go after that dick
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
