You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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