so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
