you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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