life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize