How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
