do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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