anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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