Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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