brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
