isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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