"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
