Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
