I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
