I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize