I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
