ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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