sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
