Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
