dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
