I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I could make wine with my vomit
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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