hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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