I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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