just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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