Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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