No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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