my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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