he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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