I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
