im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
