I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again