I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?