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• (818): View more from California

  I hate you but I'm not in hate with you

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.

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• (818): View more from California

  Jake died.

  (310): View more from California

  WTF????????? That's how you tell me????

  (818): View more from California

  Oops typo. Jake cried.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Again?

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.

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