been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
