If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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