There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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