He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
