Dual....:-)
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
