i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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