My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
