why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
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