That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
