Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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