i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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