You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize