all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
