woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
