She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
