i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
