talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
