Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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