Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
