Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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