I showed him my bush... on skype.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
