we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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