How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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