The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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