It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
