Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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