We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
