That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
