if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize