When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
