Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
