just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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